Over 99680

Wife Demotivational Poster

WEARING THE PANTS - I do what i want, how i want and when i want to do it. As long as i ask my wife first.

TAGS: rules wife when what why
Rating: 4.55/5

More motifakes by caveman

house - October 23, 2011, 12:55 am
Oh, I'm here V. Its just I don't have much worth saying ATM.......but be patient, I'll hit my straps again (when she gives me 5 minutes peace!!)
Verdeckt - October 22, 2011, 2:12 am
Speaking of which, where is House? Bwahahaha



TAGS: pistorius gun murder wife
Rating: 4.67/5

More motifakes by JesusWept

MashiMashi - February 18, 2013, 10:02 pm
Rise of the CYBORGS
Brawler - February 15, 2013, 10:22 am
Oscar said in court: "I wanted to take her out, so.... I took her out":D
ughomer - February 14, 2013, 4:31 pm
How profound is this???


TAGS: husband wife military duty love
Rating: 4.74/5

More motifakes by Reality Lord

Feasibly - December 5, 2011, 2:13 pm
Man RL, I don't remember seeing this one before...Easy 5
Reality Lord - August 21, 2010, 8:37 am

....yes i did write the poem.
Reality Lord - August 20, 2010, 8:41 pm

thnx guys
spacedog - August 20, 2010, 5:52 pm
Very nice. 5L
Faceplant31 - August 20, 2010, 12:19 pm
Um yea, my last comment got messed up. All i can say is this is AMSOME and i give it a 10 a effing 10
Faceplant31 - August 20, 2010, 12:12 pm

A NAGGING WIFE - Means that she still cares. It is when she gives you the silent treatment that she is plotting your gruesome murder.


TAGS: i asked my wife if she wanted to take one of these and she said they don t what they are talking about down there
Rating: 4.71/5

More motifakes by BoneCD

corbett06 - September 7, 2010, 6:35 pm
5Ls for you bone love it
Sesshu - March 31, 2010, 1:32 pm
Class 5... My wife need to take that! >:o
CANADA - March 30, 2010, 5:49 pm
Class 8- Like a glove!
BoneCD - March 30, 2010, 5:46 pm
@TOC...U GO GIRL!!!!
thatonechick - March 30, 2010, 3:12 pm
I'm teaching class 8. No, seriously, I rule at parallel parking.
camden - March 30, 2010, 3:11 pm
niiice, 5 lions, great one bone.
erock - March 26, 2010, 5:33 pm
5l's bone great poster
ICEMAN - March 25, 2010, 7:14 pm
Nice one Bone. 5 class credits.

LIFE, AS IN CHESS - If you think about it, all the king is, is a glorified pawn Whereas the queen is the key to his survival. So let’s hop to it ladies, those sammiches won’t make themselves


TAGS: marchallenge divorce exwife
Rating: 4.49/5

More motifakes by sickartist

rerun - July 4, 2010, 10:12 am

It was planning the wedding part for me.
dude304 - March 22, 2010, 2:00 pm
nice man this one is sooo funny
lesterinside - March 22, 2010, 12:00 pm
FTW!!! It was my mother-in-law on my part. 5 torturous L's !!!

HAIRDRESSER - The wife is back from the hairdresser. Choose your next words carefully. They might be your last.

TAGS: hair funny blond wife
Rating: 4.38/5

More motifakes by suzieq

steve1961 - August 18, 2014, 11:37 pm
"Back from the groomer, already?"
champ99 - January 12, 2012, 11:49 am
Talk about b*** ugly...
gas - January 11, 2012, 5:44 pm
seems to have the same hairdresser than Coppola's Dracula


TAGS: toilet seat marriage husband wife
Rating: 4.21/5

More motifakes by timmey

mariand - March 15, 2012, 7:42 pm
hehehe...It's not good... it's CAREful
carebear - March 15, 2012, 7:33 pm
(carebear BANNED)
lgvernon - March 15, 2012, 7:10 pm

Thud...thud, thud, crack, crunch...Great one!!!!


TAGS: spiders b****es which do you fear more housewife home maker they will f ck you up
Rating: 3.33/5

More motifakes by Bartimaeus

thatonechick - June 26, 2010, 11:59 am
Oh my f***ing god. jdkslagjdaskojfdopjfiasdjfdks!!!! I'm scared...
Densaku - February 4, 2010, 7:57 am
Aaaaaaah... So cuuute...Until they start to eat each other.
Zed - October 30, 2009, 5:54 pm
Eh, I'm an arachnophile. I used to own a tarantula and three wolf spiders when I was a kid.
LD0ne - October 30, 2009, 4:36 pm
u know a lot about spiders zed..
Zed - October 20, 2009, 4:07 pm
These are Aussie Huntsman spiders. Scary looking, but harmless. The ones you need to worry about are the Syndney Trapdoor spider, the Black Wishbone Spider, and the Australian Redback Spider. Those're frikking deadly!
_Ally - October 20, 2009, 11:21 am
Someone's house or not. If you got spiders in there that long to nest you need to burn it down. I hate spiders and I would flamethrower the place then use the rocket launcher just to be sure they were dead.
Bartimaeus - October 20, 2009, 12:42 am
Gentlemen, we're forgetting about collateral damage. This is somebody's house!...o, well. Noone I know. Let's just torch the place.
tombofray - October 19, 2009, 10:59 pm
but a rocket launcher might just spray them everywhere...personaly i agree with flamethrower
Ice Wolf Ninja - October 19, 2009, 10:52 pm
A rocket launcher would be better! I f***in' HATE spiders. Besides that picture was probably taken in Australia. They have spiders that are the size of Godd*** plates!!!
Bartimaeus - October 19, 2009, 9:55 pm
Clos - October 19, 2009, 9:47 pm
It might be overkill...but a flamethrower would be nice
Bartimaeus - October 19, 2009, 9:22 pm
Seriously! Ah, I hate spiders. I'm going to cringe every time i look at this.
Bob D. Sailor - October 19, 2009, 8:57 pm
Screw bricks, cinder blocks shall be shat upon seeing this.

SCREW THE DOG - It's my wife you better worry about ...

TAGS: screw dog worry about wife
Rating: 4.61/5

More motifakes by Budog

rerun - February 16, 2012, 7:28 pm

That is why it's best to never date in the workplace.

JOSEF FRITZL - An animal. A monster. A DIY hero.

TAGS: he built that dungeon without his wife noticing
Rating: 2.95/5

More motifakes by Kung-Fu Devil

agdaniele - April 22, 2010, 3:29 am
I loved him in Space Cowboys!!!


TAGS: aging wife saint husband touching
Rating: 4.75/5

More motifakes by Airman

Amren - July 14, 2011, 9:04 pm
I was going to show this to my wife. Then I remembered I liked eating solid food and living indoors...
R.S.Jake - July 13, 2011, 6:12 pm
Ma5terful Airman! I applaud your tact and seemlingly unending patience with your aging spouse. I too have tried most of these tactics when dealing with my spouse. The doctors say I may walk again, if I work hard.

DEVOTION - More than just words on a fancy scrap of paper.

TAGS: military wife kia war marine
Rating: 4.68/5

More motifakes by Zetsubel

Krissie - July 4, 2011, 11:29 am
5sad lions.... :'(


TAGS: good odds wife drowning allah muslim
Rating: 3.64/5

More motifakes by Bartimaeus

Viper - May 25, 2010, 8:59 pm
phukking retarded is what that is
me4891 - September 28, 2009, 5:54 pm
SPF one million

MARRIED LIFE - Your wife doesn't laugh at your jokes any more ? Adopt a burglar.

TAGS: burglar wife husband joke thief
Rating: 4.89/5

More motifakes by suzieq

suzieq - January 26, 2012, 12:15 am
the joke was 'marian is funny' it is a joke, marian !
mariand - January 23, 2012, 4:40 pm
Don't bother yourself because you won't get it... this user make posters from her/his experience... ain't so?
Rick69 - January 23, 2012, 1:51 pm
I suddenly want to know what the joke was ... !

my wife went shopping yesterday -

TAGS: missing wife men
Rating: 4.79/5

More motifakes by Airman

jonny5 - July 27, 2014, 9:42 pm
There is a reward for the return of vehicle unharmed.


THE WIFE - Obviously I didn't marry her for her cooking skills !

TAGS: wife cooking skills marry
Rating: 3.46/5

More motifakes by MustyK

WestTexRedneck - September 2, 2011, 12:06 am
shes not allowed in the cave anymore

IRON MAN CONTEST - When the wife signed me in, I had a different picture entirely.


TAGS: marriage husband wife death
Rating: 3.59/5

More motifakes by ronsart

TheTrashHeap - July 31, 2009, 2:06 am
WELCOME! Now wipe your boots!
DillyRat - July 31, 2009, 2:05 am
walks in...trips...falls on face ...has NO idea what's going on but likes it!
LogicDude - July 30, 2009, 11:05 am
10-10-10-9.8-6.5! 6.5? Stupid East German Judge!
BuZZbomb - July 29, 2009, 11:02 pm
agdaniele - July 29, 2009, 11:01 pm
(double back-flip dismount, nailed landing) ta-DAAAAAA!
agdaniele - July 29, 2009, 11:00 pm
When goals are not readily attainable, the inability to detach from them may produce frustration, exhaustion, rumination on failures, and lack of sleep. These in turn activate harmful inflammatory responses that can lead to illness and lowered immunity.
agdaniele - July 29, 2009, 10:59 pm
Men who faced chronic stresses at work or at home ran a 30 percent higher likelihood of dying over the course of a nine-year study...
agdaniele - July 29, 2009, 10:58 pm
I'll answer this one for ya, derek...
BoneCD - July 29, 2009, 5:39 pm
It's all part of the plan...just part of the plan!
LogicDude - July 29, 2009, 3:42 pm
50th Wedding Anniversary Toast: "May my wife live another 50 years...and may I live another 51, because I want at least 1 year of f*ckin' peace and quiet before I go!"

GOOD OLD FASHIONED VALUES - That's right honey, dreams, goals and education are Satan's way of distracting you from being a good wife

TAGS: mother daughter distracting satans wife
Rating: 4.58/5

More motifakes by Budog

nicholsjoshua35 - September 26, 2012, 9:32 pm
Yeah, because women are so much better off nowadays being used as come dumpsters, humiliating themselves.
mariand - August 16, 2011, 6:08 am
LOL... you can't have them all 5L

OOPS - Looks like he made the chain too long.


TAGS: exwife new ride
Rating: 4.88/5

More motifakes by Airman

NotoriousGIL - May 11, 2011, 3:00 pm
Produceman117 - May 11, 2011, 8:37 am
Airwoman. 5.

LOYALTY - Lock your wife and your dog in the trunk of your car. Come back in 6 hours. Which one is happy to see you?

TAGS: loyalty dog wife trunk happy
Rating: 3.21/5

More motifakes by rhyno86

Jenna3220 - June 26, 2012, 6:57 pm
Sick and disrespectful. What's wrong with you?
Peso - August 31, 2011, 1:04 pm
Just wrong. A fallen Military member is barely dead a week and you use his image.
caveman - August 29, 2011, 8:55 am
Great first poster, 5 L's for you
hktb40 - August 27, 2011, 1:43 pm
sooooo true. nice job

THE WORLD TODAY - In this economy more and more people are opting not to get married I’d like to think that the economy has nothing to do with it. Rather, men are just getting smarter.

MAKE HIM A CAKE - with arsenic.

TAGS: murder housewife turng**
Rating: 3.58/5

More motifakes by Zcorrecttheory

Zcorrecttheory - October 12, 2011, 1:21 am
With jello puddin pops?
ribas - October 11, 2011, 7:06 pm
Yes please. Put me out of my misery. ;P

MY EX-WIFE'S SUPERPOWER - the ability to stretch 15 seconds of information into a five minute phone call

TAGS: phone boring ex wife
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by vilnius

CloudchaserS - July 25, 2012, 1:36 am
I've an aunt who's like that as well. And once in awhile, I'll get a chatty caller who takes 10+ minutes to make a reservation that could have been done in 2min

NAGGING WIFE ?? - There's a simple solution.

I WOULD CUT UP HER CREDIT CARDS - but this is more fun!

TAGS: wife spank
Rating: 4.84/5

More motifakes by vilnius

MARRIAGE 101 - Work is your new vacation. If you go home you know she has things for you to do.

20 TO LIFE - Your never take me to places I've never been before... OK, shall we begin with the kitchen now ?

MY EX-WIFE JUST SHOWED UP - Now which one of you said her name three times into a mirror?

TAGS: ex wife visit
Rating: 4.04/5

More motifakes by steve1961

thecrotchetyoldcynic - April 11, 2013, 2:59 pm
This would happen to my ex girlfriend... And it only took pronouncing her name once, no mirror. Creepy, huh? No joke.
GaryO - March 5, 2013, 1:38 pm
Yes, 5L, all that. Quite refreshing series
Silverheart - March 5, 2013, 12:10 pm
Makes me glad that my ex-wife has a very uncommon name. Like mariand said; excellent series of posters, 5Ls all around.
Mooooooooooooooooooo - March 5, 2013, 10:04 am
I was yelling at the cat...I said Walter, Walter, Walter..........Funny name for a woman?!?
mariand - March 5, 2013, 8:44 am
lol...excellent series of posters, steve...

BIGAMY - “Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.” Oscar Wilde

TAGS: wedding bride wife husband marriage
Rating: 3/5

More motifakes by giulio

HAHA - April 14, 2009, 10:19 pm
That one b**** has some nice legs. Love white stockings.
Crunk - March 30, 2009, 11:00 pm
g** Test - this guy passed, Oscar Wilde failed
ZenMaster - December 13, 2008, 3:18 am
Not with them... They're twins, only one mother-in-law.
Scorpio7 - November 8, 2008, 7:07 am
Gotta love them Mormons!
RnR - October 11, 2008, 5:16 am
not to mention the number of mothers-in-law...

compromise -


TAGS: nagging dumb husband domestic violence wife with an axe
Rating: 4.94/5

More motifakes by suenero

TheOmegaMan - January 12, 2011, 12:44 pm
...or you could have taken the non-psycho route and simply been strong enough to get a divorce...'nuff said. LOL
crankyhead - January 9, 2011, 11:38 am
this is delicious.
autumnspirit - January 9, 2011, 10:48 am
Freeking fantastic! Adding to faves... nuff said. 5L's
valkor - January 9, 2011, 9:05 am
Fantastic. Love it.
Reality Lord - January 9, 2011, 8:55 am

jaw dropingly solid 5. awesome. totally loved it!


TAGS: arguing with wife
Rating: 4.76/5

More motifakes by Airman

TheSanityInspector - January 6, 2012, 3:51 pm
You marry Miss Right, and then discover her first name is Always.
abraaz - January 6, 2012, 8:28 am
You can never be right.
mariand - January 6, 2012, 3:57 am
yeah... even if you're right

OF COURSE I'M HAPPY TO SEE YOU - It's just that, if you are here, who's guarding the Gates of Hell?

TAGS: ex wife visit
Rating: 4.28/5

More motifakes by steve1961

falloutghoul - March 7, 2013, 10:47 pm
Easy: Her ex's pet dog.
Rudedog - March 5, 2013, 12:20 pm
Funny and all too scary

FINE WINE - My wife told me she was like fine wine, getting better with age So I locked her in the cellar

TAGS: wife better like wine
Rating: 4.92/5

More motifakes by house

mariand - July 13, 2011, 5:13 pm
hahaha... this is a good one... 5 bottles for you


TAGS: cleaning wife organize clutzy husband
Rating: 4.13/5

More motifakes by Iconoclast

agdaniele - May 11, 2010, 4:30 am


TAGS: life time wife revenge divorce dear john
Rating: 3.18/5

More motifakes by giulio

Word construction fascist - March 27, 2009, 12:05 pm
The word you're looking for is clarity.

WINTERTIME IN INDIANA - I'm just taking the bike out for a spin

TAGS: how to piss off the wife ideal 23
Rating: 3/5

More motifakes by Houseplant

rerun - February 8, 2011, 7:06 pm

I doubt ssjgoat knows anybody remotely involved with this image
Houseplant - February 8, 2011, 5:41 pm
I have always threatened my wife with doing the same thing during our Indiana winters. As for the name calling me "f*** tard", i'll just take the higher ground and tell you, you are welcomed for me making your friends cool pic into a 'Fake.
Houseplant - February 8, 2011, 5:36 pm
ssjgoat:First, the pic was emailed to me with an accompanying joke about a guy who walks into his house with his muddy boots on and it pisses off his ol lady, so he "takes the bike out for a spin". Second: I have been a rider since I was 12 (48 now) and
TheTrashHeap - February 8, 2011, 4:20 pm
Prove it or stfu!
ssjgoat - February 8, 2011, 12:37 pm
To bad that didnt happen in the state of Indiana f*** tard.. My rl life buddy did that and how you got the pic I am not sure other then creeping on FB.. but get the facts straight.

Pay Back's A Bitch -

WIVES - for those times when a yes or no question needs a 30 minute long answer

TAGS: wife nag nag nag
Rating: 4.82/5

More motifakes by Zook


TAGS: wife bambi newborn shoot
Rating: 4.8/5

More motifakes by Bruzilla

Oiler - January 2, 2013, 9:50 pm
Have not been hanging around here for long...but your posts make me laugh. Good Stuff
holymoly - May 7, 2012, 12:20 pm
first laugh of the day. Thanks Bruzilla.. funny sh*t
Reality Lord - May 6, 2012, 8:07 pm

please, let me know if it works. i should have thought of that.



TAGS: altercation wife last word mariand
Rating: 4.58/5

More motifakes by mariand

Silverheart - April 11, 2013, 1:59 am
Wife having last word implies that she, at some point, stops talking. 5Ls anyways
Krickit - April 9, 2013, 3:29 pm
I got the final word once. Nothing trumps "divorce!" Full custody for me, no visitation rights for you.
mariand - April 8, 2013, 12:34 pm
lol...thanks ;)
forseti - April 8, 2013, 12:26 pm
as a husband, I confirm officially. 5

HONEY I'M HOME. - I was thinking about you all day at work.


TAGS: ex wife brother in law
Rating: 4.44/5

More motifakes by Airman

mariand - May 24, 2012, 12:40 am
lol... this is funny!



TAGS: life time human nature husband wife money body waste value murder solution
Rating: 3.42/5

More motifakes by giulio

TheTrashHeap - July 4, 2009, 2:32 pm
Too shallow, nothing to weigh her down, should have worn throw away clothes. Most importantly No body means no insurance payout!
Haarakkon - July 4, 2009, 2:28 pm
d***, Sean.
Sean - July 4, 2009, 12:43 pm
Looks like a rank amateur at work to me. Mr. Bodydump here clearly hasn't seen any of my posters. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother. Oh, and keep the headlights on ... real clever.
BoneCD - July 4, 2009, 7:03 am
I have been taking notes and watching all the CSI shows...I'll let you know how it goes!

RUN FOR YOUR WIFE - What Redneck men do when they hear there's a new girl in town that isn't related to anyone.

AREA 51 - Search For Extraterrestrial Intelligence Collect Some Medals Find A Wife

TAGS: marriage epic fail wife husband seti medals romance
Rating: 3.05/5

More motifakes by forseti

Azbestos - March 25, 2011, 2:49 pm
Hunnic wife?

REINCARNATION - So, my wife and I are talking about reincarnation. I said, "You have to come back as something different". So she says, "I want come back as a Cow" I said " Your not listening to me"

TAGS: wife reincarnation cow
Rating: 4.68/5

More motifakes by house

forseti - July 12, 2011, 11:47 am
must.... not... correct YOU'RE mistake... :P 5L anyway


TAGS: bum look right wrong wife
Rating: 4.67/5

More motifakes by caveman

whocares0 - August 17, 2011, 10:15 pm
rnbw00 - August 17, 2011, 4:36 pm
Personally, I think it looks excellent.
440wakeup - August 17, 2011, 11:41 am
champagne problems
Mooooooooooooooooooo - August 17, 2011, 11:38 am
I'm guessing that the closest 440 comes to a "real man" is the male nurse that brings his meds....
440wakeup - August 17, 2011, 11:01 am
A real man turns into the TORp***.....run u[p motor-boat it then demand a***-***. After a few times, she'll stop asking, unless she wants a***-***. Champagne problems my brother champagne problems.
mariand - August 17, 2011, 9:15 am
I'm in the last phase...everything it's too obvious 5L
Greeny - August 17, 2011, 5:54 am
The 5tages a man must face - Doomed to lie about it, Losing the ability to lie convincingly, No longer being asked because of the obvious...
Verdeckt - August 17, 2011, 12:52 am
I think it's Jerry's face in the background that sells it.

MARRIAGE - I married my wife for her looks but not the ones she gives me now.

TAGS: marriage angry wife neener
Rating: 4.52/5

More motifakes by Neener

dslohand - August 31, 2011, 10:15 pm
5150monkeylove - October 5, 2010, 10:45 pm
5L so true!
Reality Lord - October 5, 2010, 6:38 pm

awesome...very nice dude
tellitlikeitis - October 5, 2010, 12:02 pm
Very cute.

BONUS MONEY - Hide it better next time

TAGS: money wife mad
Rating: 4.48/5

More motifakes by holymoly

holymoly - January 5, 2012, 5:37 pm
Thanx Lord....My first poster. was hoping it would be worthy
Reality Lord - January 5, 2012, 5:35 pm


SORRY, HONEY - but we'll discuss our communication issues AFTER the game!


RELATIONSHIPS ARE LIKE COMPUTERS - They also have troubleshoot options

TAGS: cheater wife gun
Rating: 3.88/5

More motifakes by templar13

IMadeThisAccoutToTellYouThatPicIsFake - June 23, 2012, 10:56 pm
This scene was staged.


TAGS: togetherness day balance man and tractor wife there too wonderful weight thank god for obesity farming farmer fun
Rating: 3.44/5

More motifakes by Bartimaeus

Sean - October 16, 2009, 8:54 pm
SHE ... offsets me. *wipes tear*

A LOVING WIFE - Will always hold your hand


TAGS: sleep talk wife listen mariand
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by mariand

Yorick - September 29, 2012, 2:53 pm
Nice. She complains about me talking and even jumping out of bed in my sleep. I could really mess with her pretending to be asleep. Why have I not thought of that before? 5L!
mariand - September 28, 2012, 11:09 am
hehehe...it was a time when I was afraid of what I could talk while I was sleeping... but anyway, it can be easily denied.
Bull - September 28, 2012, 10:54 am
Lol, nice. I've been there before.
GaryO - September 28, 2012, 9:04 am
Oh, this is good. Tried that once, years ago….once. She hadn’t developed her sense of humor quite yet. You’d think the velocity of a pillow is rather harmless……not. My ear rang for days.

Talk To Me -

TAGS: for the guys wife husband communication arguing quote s freud
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by MissPriss

MissPriss - January 31, 2014, 11:15 pm
That was his 2nd mistake...1st was being born male, the poor s.o.b.
Oldsod - January 31, 2014, 10:00 pm
Yes, but his first mistake was listening...
MissPriss - January 17, 2014, 11:37 am
Ah Mr. Gary, I see you know well what the posters is saying...teehee.
GaryO - January 16, 2014, 10:04 pm



TAGS: sick wife bad life man
Rating: 4.86/5

More motifakes by caveman

mariand - August 7, 2011, 4:16 pm
lol... I don't believe ya


TAGS: work cute cooking cleaning dusting wife
Rating: 4.6/5

More motifakes by Iconoclast

thatonechick - May 10, 2010, 7:32 pm
I gotta try them things.


TAGS: 50 wife hubby offer
Rating: 4.58/5

More motifakes by Reality Lord

D0Cvinnie666 - July 28, 2011, 4:37 pm
50? Kinda steep don't you think? Kinda sounds like you're throwing a h** dog down a hallway at that price LAWL!
spacedog - July 27, 2011, 11:21 pm
Verdeckt - July 27, 2011, 5:48 pm


TAGS: locket wife silver cherished ph**os
Rating: 4.5/5

More motifakes by the1stCOMMI3

Verdeckt - August 8, 2011, 9:28 am
Tags right, Title wrong.. WTF?!
mariand - August 7, 2011, 4:41 pm
lol...funny 5L


WAL MART WEDDINGS - Located between Sporting Goods and Automotive

TAGS: wedding man wife wal mart sports goods auto
Rating: 4.32/5

More motifakes by todd snyder

AdmiralAckbar - September 20, 2010, 12:57 pm
I was not married at walmart. If you need to know that is my slave standing next to the new wife.
hangmanheadphones - September 20, 2010, 12:23 pm
second fom the bottom. Man: So what was your surprise dear? Oh god no, it's a trap!
GreyScorpion - March 22, 2010, 6:33 pm
6 degrees of seperation! I got this e-mail too!!
sickartist - March 22, 2010, 4:08 pm
Hey! I got married by an Elvis impersonator 5 "hunk of burning love" L's

MARRIAGE 101 - Make no mistake; they do care about where you two will end up eating. They just want to choose from a list of every restaurant you've Ever heard of; excluding the ones you like.

BEAUTIFUL - Yet deadly and full of poison. Just like my ex-wife.

SOMETIMES YOU LISTEN - Others you just cant help but resist the oppression of the queen

EX-WIFE - Every rose has its thorn.... Some have more than others

ROAD TO THE FINAL FOUR - She ain't heavy, she's the wife.

TAGS: wife huaband beer
Rating: 3.67/5

More motifakes by ughomer

carebear - March 20, 2012, 4:26 pm
(carebear BANNED)

FAMILY PROBLEMS - are the root of all confusion

TAGS: family problems wife daughter and father
Rating: 3/5

More motifakes by Brazo

shmoe13 - January 19, 2011, 6:29 am
d*** thats all i can say

Interrupting -

TAGS: marriage wife spouse
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by JesusWept

JesusWept - April 23, 2015, 10:44 am
mizzdizz - April 22, 2015, 9:58 pm
Favorite Redhead gives me enough time to rant that I can get it out of my system, THEN he drops a humor bomb on me---- end of rant!! However, the couple across the street? They make this hilarious!!!! 5 very quietly laughing lions!


TAGS: cowboy loses wife regains hearing
Rating: 4.94/5

More motifakes by lgvernon

concern3 - April 9, 2015, 4:37 am
It may be old, but it hit the spot. a 5er
lgvernon - April 8, 2015, 8:31 pm

Very, very old joke. I remember my father telling it. Was reminded of it today.
Reality Lord - April 8, 2015, 8:19 pm

5o good.

WHEN THE GLOVES COME OFF - My wife puts them on and kicks my ass!

BIGAMY - Is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

TAGS: wife wedding woman marriage bigamy
Rating: 4.58/5

More motifakes by templar13

SteveFurlong - April 4, 2012, 10:04 pm
5L from me. Need I mention that I'm married?

WATCH WHAT YOU SAY - I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

TAGS: women age wife
Rating: 4.55/5

More motifakes by 50cal

WHATEVER YOU CALL IT - Grog, brew, piss, hooch, liquid courage, sauce, lager, a cold one, stubbie, liquid gold. I call it the reason my wife and i are still together

TAGS: beer wife love hate life
Rating: 4.35/5

More motifakes by caveman

MakeCash25com - May 8, 2012, 7:31 pm
u def.need to stop drinking it. It's bad for ur health :P
Rhovanmark - February 15, 2012, 8:08 pm


TAGS: revenge ex wife yard sale
Rating: 4.33/5

More motifakes by Iconoclast

R.S.Jake - April 8, 2010, 4:06 pm
Been to one of these before! But I got there late, the '69 Corvette was gone by then...sold for $500. I cried. Got some nice tools though!

LIFE - Finding your place early in life makes the rest of the journey much simplier.


TAGS: at least the wife bought it
Rating: 4.13/5

More motifakes by culos

Ed-Hyde - November 2, 2010, 7:38 am
Hmm, not sure if that explains why the massage parlor gives you preferred parking. ;)

DIVORCE - My Husband taught me Housekeeping. When I divorced him, I kept the house.


THE WIFE - thats right woman, you are my trophy now start acting like it!

IT'S ALL MY FAULT - I'll be sitting here until my wife calms down She asked: "What's on the TV?" and I answered: "Dust."

TAGS: upset wife
Rating: 3.69/5

More motifakes by Dr. Rusak

GreyScorpion - February 3, 2010, 6:50 pm
classic joke look at 85735 for a different spin


TAGS: wife
Rating: 3.38/5

More motifakes by ronsart

Motifake Wit Liberation Front - November 17, 2008, 12:02 am
Nice earrings.


TAGS: wife court
Rating: 3.12/5

More motifakes by ronsart

LD0ne - June 9, 2010, 3:29 pm
that is true...
thatonechick - June 9, 2010, 11:20 am
HOWEVER, depending on the offense and the nature of their relationship, you might find many spouses more than willing to testify.
Mooooooooooooooooooo - June 9, 2010, 11:20 am
In the states it is. I'm too lazy to look up other places.
thatonechick - June 9, 2010, 11:19 am
You do not have to testify against your spouse, that is correct.
LD0ne - June 9, 2010, 11:19 am
i have been watching Breaking Bad and the reason that Skylar won't divorce Walt is because they won't be able to get her to testify against him if they are still married is that true in real life?
BoneCD - July 19, 2009, 11:17 am
Right on the $$ Ron...it's a 5 Poodler

Sir...Your Sensitive Side Is Showing -

TAGS: sensitive men death wife chores
Rating: 4.89/5

More motifakes by MissPriss

GaryO - July 22, 2014, 8:16 pm
MissPriss - July 22, 2014, 3:02 pm
And you too...check out the dirty laundry!
MissPriss - July 22, 2014, 3:01 pm
What you laughing at? You should see the dirty dishes!
Bandit5906 - July 22, 2014, 12:09 pm
Good way to measure! LMAO
Greybeard - July 22, 2014, 7:30 am

Cheating -


TAGS: startle alien wife
Rating: 4.88/5

More motifakes by GaryO

mariand - August 6, 2012, 9:54 am


TAGS: smart ass wife kitchen regret
Rating: 4.87/5

More motifakes by Reality Lord

5150monkeylove - September 12, 2010, 4:47 pm
5L! most clever
fascistfrenchman - August 17, 2010, 10:59 pm
5 Lions, no points off for improper spelling of themselves.
pzykosiz - August 16, 2010, 1:06 am
it's so life like
agdaniele - August 16, 2010, 1:04 am
5 alrewady been done lions

Blonde Moment #2 -

TAGS: early morning phone call blonde wife confused
Rating: 4.85/5

More motifakes by MissPriss

MissPriss - April 13, 2014, 11:20 am
OMG! I have been graced with a rare appearance by Slick! Be still my beating heart. Thank you!
Rick69 - April 13, 2014, 10:54 am
This tale... Rings a bell.

Married Long Enough -

TAGS: married husband wife answers questions safe
Rating: 4.83/5

More motifakes by MissPriss

MissPriss - February 18, 2014, 9:13 am
What was that? I had sand stuck in my ears.
CloudchaserS - February 18, 2014, 4:08 am
Women ask that because they are fat and know it but they don't like it and are seeking reassurance that they're not, thus sticking their head in the sand instead of dealing with the problem
MissPriss - February 17, 2014, 11:30 pm
Eventually answering with a question can save your life...teehee.
mariand - February 17, 2014, 4:35 pm
I thought it's bad to answer with a question..means that I'm not married for long enough? :))))

LET ME GUESS... - This is your wife's car?

TAGS: wife car
Rating: 4.8/5

More motifakes by Botts750

Bovee - January 31, 2013, 1:51 pm
I really like this. Id shoot myself before getting into it but still great poster 5L's